im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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