I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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