I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
being pregnant is like rehab
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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