Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
