Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
