Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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