She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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