bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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