I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The air was thick with penises
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
