there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
