Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
