I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
