Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
