I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
