i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
