i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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