okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
