i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
