It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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