My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
