One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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