forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
