I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
