i wish peter jackson would direct porn
two words...techno handjob
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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