i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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