Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
third nipple confirmed
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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