Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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