i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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