You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
