we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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