I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
