Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize