Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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