yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
