Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
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I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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