If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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