The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
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worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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