Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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