That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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