I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
