Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
