She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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