kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
