i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
