i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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