Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
