I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize