I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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