So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
