Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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