so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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