I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize