thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
