JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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