I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
