Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
