Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
not ubering you a puppy
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
