Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We talked him into tasing himself.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
