Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
