Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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