yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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