so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize