So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
They have beer where we have blood.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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