im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
