Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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