If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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