i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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