He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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