pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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