You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
