The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
